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Even in the often-bizarre world of French comedies, they don’t come much more off-beat than How Much Do You Love Me? (Combien tu m’aimes?), veteran Bertrand Blier’s 19th film as director.

The unkind might say this is a rather turgid male fantasy, with Blier’s camera lingering longingly over the ample (and often undressed) form of star Monica Bellucci. There’s more to the film than that; but the problem is wading through its deliberate oddity to find any deeper meaning.

At the start of the film, François (Bernard Campan) visits a Parisian “girlie bar”. You get the impression he’s not exactly a stranger in those parts, but on this occasion, he has eyes only for the voluptuous Daniela (Monica Bellucci). He approaches her and, in a rather awkward scene, advises that he’s won the lottery. This piques her interest; and when Francois announces that he has an indecent proposal, she’s all ears. He will pay her €10,000 a month until the money runs out if she’ll come and live with him. She immediately accepts, but there are complications in the form of Daniela’s gangster boyfriend and perhaps pimp Charly (Gerard Depardieu) and François’ curious co-workers from his office job.

Blier seems to have been aiming for this to be an amusing trifle, using the “can’t buy me love” premise as a starting point. Unfortunately, the film loses its way amidst some poor plotting and some just plain silly directorial choices (the song-and-dance sequence near the end being a prime example).

Being French, it has the veneer of intellectualism; but this is in reality a far from intellectual film. Sure, the characters might sit around discussing the meaning of life and love, but the movie itself is more likely to leave you perplexed than enlightened.

I’m also not so sure about Blier’s choice to set much of the film in dingy rooms. This is no doubt intended as a counterpoint to its farcial elements, but it makes it even more difficult to relate to the characters or their predicament. That situation is only exacerbated by Blier’s insistence on long monlogues and dialogues throughout the picture.

The characters themselves aren’t all that interesting in any case. François is a faceless office worker, whose only outside interest seems to be crusing bars. Daniela is a far cry from Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman as the whore who maybe has a heart of gold, and Charly is a cardboard cut-out gangster without any real menace.

On the plus side, the operatic score, featuring Puccini and Verdi is an interesting touch. You’d have thought that a contemporary soundtrack would accompany a film like this, but the classic music works well.

As you’re probably aware from any advertising material you’ve seen, the focus of How Much Do You Love Me is very much on Monica Bellucci. Certainly, her image (or more precisely, her body) fills the screen much of the time. Now for the males in the audience, I’m sure this will be a source of immense satisfaction, but I’m not so sure how women will react. In comparison to her, Bernard Campan is a bit of a let-down visually as the balding and rather hairy François. Having said that, he does however run rings around her in the acting stakes. Gerard Depardieu has acheived so much in French cinema, it’s perfectly acceptable to forgive him for what would otherwise be an embarrassing turn here. But there’s some fun to be had with the minor characters, notably Farida Rahouadj as Francois’ neighbour.

How Much Do You Love Me isn’t a great advertisement for Gallic cinema, but I’m sure it will have its fans. If you’re prepared to give this film a fair bit of latitude and you’re either an incurable romantic or a fan of opera, you’re likely to find something to enjoy here. For everyone else though, this could prove more of a test than a treat.

David Edwards

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How Much Do You Love Me?

Director: Bertrand Blier
Cast: Monnica Bellucci, Bernard Campan, Farida Rahouadj and Gerard Depardieu
Release: Nationally on 13 April 2006
Rated: MA 15+