XSive reality

I was a big fan of Michael Hutchence. As a lead singer, he was a sinewy, writhing, naturally charismatic guy who commanded the stage and gave most of the young girls in the audience naughty thoughts. Okay, I was hot for the guy, alright? Me and millions of others. Because he had that certain je ne sais quoi that made him stand out from the thousands of other lead singers. He mightn’t have been the best looking or have the best voice but he was a born rock star.

So the first question that came to my mind when I heard that the remaining five members of the band were going to conduct a reality TV show to find a new singer was, “OH---MY---GOD!!!” If Michael was in a grave he’d be turning in it. Because if there was one thing Michael Hutchence was, it was cool. This ain’t cool.

Not that the apparent lack of coolness has ever stopped a reality show from getting decent ratings. But this possibly misguided and potentially disastrous foray for INXS could very well taint the good memories of loyal fans. Watching the wannabe contestants holed up in a big mansion in a cross between the Idol shows and The Bachelor borders on the painful. All we need is for Tim Farriss to present the outgoing reject with a red rose and the picture would be complete.

Of course there is some hard rock credibility with the presence of former Jane’s Addiction and Red Hot Chilli Peppers guitarist, Dave Navarro, on board to give critiques of the performances. He’s turned out to be a professional and extremely nice guy so there’s a shock. As for the host, Brooke Burke . . . well, there are two obvious reasons why she’s there and it’s got nothing to do with her musical ability.

And the singers? Well sure there are some talented ones hoping to be an instant rock star, but how many of them are actual rock stars? Because it’s not just about singing in tune and keeping to the beat – it’s about an attitude, and one you can’t learn. The “rock star clinics” given by INXS members as they watch video clips of the contestants’ performances and point out their shortcomings prove that beyond any doubt. If you have to be taught, then it’s just not in ya!

As for the female contestants, well, call me a female chauvinist pig but I just don’t see it. In the guys, there are a few standouts but as the INXS guys have pointed out, even the best of them, like Ty and Aussie guy MiG, have a certain over-rehearsed theatricality to their performance a lot of the time. Musical theatre is a world away from just going out on stage raw and ready to rock. Marty doing the Nirvana song Lithium was probably the closest any of them has come to a pure, unabashed rock performance.

I don’t know, maybe I’m just an old rock chick purist and I’ll be proven wrong. Maybe the ultimate winner will go on to help the long dead band (yes, even years before Michael left this mortal coil they couldn’t pay people to buy their records) get a hit record and make more millions touring.

Foxtel are coy about releasing ratings figures but will say that the show has been performing well and been in the top 5 programs across all their channels. Voting numbers aren’t divulged either but apparently local boy MiG was given the thumbs up by Aussie voters after his performance of Lola, which he topped off by taking off his shirt. Now that’s a bit more like it.

Vicki Englund

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Rock Star: INXS

On: FOX 8 (and sometimes on Music Max)
Time: Tuesdays, 7.30pm
Wednesdays, 8.30pm
Thursdays, 7.30pm