2 Hazzard-ous

As any petrol-head with an overdose of testosterone (and who probably went nuts over The Fast And The Furious) will tell you, story is not exactly the be all and end all. They want films like Gone In Sixty Seconds and The Fast And The Furious. They also want some Coyote Ugly which means getting in as many bikini clad and cleavage revealing babes as possible. When the boys are sick of the babes then they want to play with something else, they need toys. So lets bring in a dirty big luxury boat, some helicopters, guns and even more cars!

Octane addicts will be in bitumen heaven watching 2 Fast 2 Furious; but for those who desire some substance, the only eye-catching moments of the film are the at times exhilarating car chase sequences. With 2 Fast 2 Furious it seems to be a case of writing a story around the action rather than finding somewhere to slot the action in.

A thinly veiled plot involving Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) turning bad cop, turning Dominic (Vin Diesel) loose and losing his badge is seen as a starting point for 2 Fast 2 Furious. Instead of a cop, O’Conner is your run-of-the-mill illegal street-racer-citizen-on-patrol. When the cops nab him during one of these street races it’s the ol’ “If you don’t comply with us you’ll be dropping the soap and making new friends on the inside” routine. Ho hum!

As one exasperated character proclaims, “This is real Dukes Of Hazzard shit!”

These words are on the money. Aficionados will know that “The Dukes Of Hazzard” was a much loved 70s television show about two brothers who loved to hoon around in their car (The General Lee), avoiding capture from the law, and making the boys in blue look like asses into the bargain.

2 Fast 2 Furious reads like an updated version of “The Dukes”. The vehicles have been updated and the characters changed (where else were they going to find another Bo & Luke Duke?), but the plot just as ridiculous. The pursuing police are still inept, their vehicles identical and generic in appearance. “Dang” and “Yee-haw” have been updated with “Hey Man” and “Bro” and the solid handshake has been replaced by the sensitive new age embrace and the street wise symbolist hand connection (even the real cops do it!). Country music is so passé, speaker-rattling bass pumpin’ rap replaces that bumpkin!

Hard to believe that the sequel to The Fast And The Furious would be directed by of all people John Singleton, a man who’s been capable of films better than 2 Fast 2 Furious. Like it’s predecessor this sequel amounts to being little more than a no-brainer. Star of the first instalment Vin Diesel must have come down with a case of second film blues, he’s missing from this sequel, so it’s left to Paul Walker (the rookie cop that goes undercover) to fill the void. While Walker’s acting ability is questionable and the same could be said for the rest of the cast. Really, how could you get motivated when you’re constantly playing second fiddle to an automobile?

Making films of this quality must be like shooting fish in a barrel. A sad irony that 2 Fast 2 Furious is already a highly successful moneymaker and “3 Times Around The Block” is nigh on a certainty.

Rest assured 2 Fast 2 Furious is sure to get the chequered flag from the fans.

Richard Scott