Immortals
Director: Tarsem Singh
Cast: Henry Cavill, Luke Evans, Frieda Pinto, Mickey Rourke and John Hurt
Releasing in cinemas: 24 November 2011
Rated: MA 15+
An
Immortal mess
Immortals would be a worry if you
let it. Almost totally CGI based, conjuring up a number of spectacular
visions of digitally drawn scenery, yet lacking any depth of
characterization and hung on a muddied storyline. With more people
working on the picture than Gone
With The Wind, you have to wonder why it's such bummer.
Ancient Greece depicted with towering cliffs as seen in a
child's
picture book, sadly missing from the Greek landscape today. One of the
problems so much is digitally composed it plays out almost like a
cartoon. Broadly based on Greek legends given a strong dose of
Hollywood razzle dazzle, with obsessive concentration on battle scenes
to appease the youth audience.
The confabulated plot has ruthless King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke)
setting out to conquer Greece in the old days by attempting to release
the imprisoned Titans. A race of violent warriors captured in a cage
beneath a great mountain and a serious threat to humanity. Evil enough
to frighten Hitler, Hyperion blitzkriegs through spectacular mythical
countryside to locate a magic bow which would ensure success of his
mission.
Theseus (Henry Cavill) a belligerent peasant, steps up to the plate
leading the forces of good to stop the merciless invader. Fortunately
Zeus (Luke Evans) king of the Gods, sides with Theseus’s team, giving
him badly needed supernatural support. Along for the ride are the
Virgin Oracles, four women in fancy dress lead by the authentic
soothsayer Phaedra (Frieda Pinto). On the sidelines we have an old guy
(John Hurt) muttering philosophical platitudes. All really an excuse
for lots of blood splattered battles, which are so digitally enhanced
and minced in editing it's hard to know who's being whacked. The messy
beheading and spearing typical of video games catering for the obvious
target of the movie, the loyal fans of Conan The Barbarian.
It makes little sense, why the huge army of
countless digital warriors
has to squeeze through a relatively small tunnel in the fortress wall
to attack the inferior force lead by indomitable Theseus. There must
have been a better battle plan. Thank heavens for the Gods. One of the
most effective sequences, Zeus and family fighting back in slo-mo.
Three oracles suddenly turn up nearly cooked inside a huge iron bull,
although the scene where they're incarcerated seems to have met the
editor's scissors. The Greek populace oddly live on the extreme edges
of high cliffs, cat-walking along narrow paths and occasionally
falling into the abyss. A perilous existence indeed.
Tarsem Singh (The Fall)
directs with pizazz for violence and little sensitivity for actors.
Hesitate to think what he’s going to do to poor Snow White in his next
feature. Mickey Rourke (Angel Heart)
saves the show from total disaster. Looking as if he walked off the set
for The Wrestler with a few extra facial scars, he excels delivering
the brutal side of Hyperion. Mumbling in deep sinister tones with
ghastly countenance and copious hair, he's a walking menace to the
human race.
Henry Cavill soon to play the new Superman, while muscle bound and
suitably heroic, pales in comparison to the monstrous Rourke. Luke
Evans (The Three Musketeers)
hardly strikes a godlike figure as Zeus. Then many of the cast haven’t
much of ancient Greece about them, rather appearing as if they just
arrived from the studio canteen. Friedo Pinto (Slum Dog Millionaire) as Phaedra,
has a face like Helen of Troy, yet her little girl voice wouldn’t
really launch a thousand ships, or foretell the future with any
conviction. John Hurt (Melancholia)
could read Hansard slowly and make you weep, even if he's only in the
picture for rent money. The costumes are extraordinary in the worse
sense, it’s Versace having a nightmare, especially those worn by the
Gods.
Admittedly spectacular set pieces make up for the lack of restrained
costuming, the awakening of the Titans in their cage works well.
However despite 3D giving a slight boost to proceedings, this excursion
into Greek mythology fails in the end. Some impressive CGI
vistas, let down by lumbering dialogue, and poorly judged direction.
When Frieda Pinto's well rounded bare bottom is judiciously exposed in
closeup 3D, the audience actually giggled. Perhaps time to go home.
John Bale