2012

Director: Roland Emmerich
Cast: John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Thandie Newton, Woody Harrelson and Danny Glover
DVD release: 17 March 2010
Rated: M

Roland destroys the world - again

The ancient Mayans can take the blame for this one. They knew all about the date when the planets would align to cause the major catastrophe which just about cooks the world and then floods it. To see this spectacular apocalyptic event in glorious digital imagery, take the wild ride of two hours forty minutes and experience of 2012 - the disaster movie to end all others. Shortest title - but longest running time - with more cliffhangers per reel than the Saturday arvo serials which is closely resembles; a guarantee you won’t be bored.

Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) a sci-fi writer and part time limo driver, divorced from Kate (Amanda Peet), takes his children on a holiday trip to Yellowstone National Park and meets Charlie Frost (Woody Harrelson) a Doomsday prophet with his own radio show and website. Weirdo Charlie informs Jackson the end of the world is about to happen and demonstrates the Mayan calendar prediction with a homemade cartoon.

On cue, Yellowstone becomes a massive volcanic eruption as the earth’s core melts. Jackson miraculously gets away with his kids returning to pick up Kate and her boyfriend Gordon (Thomas McCarthy), then flees through exploding city streets in a last-minute hair-raising escape from the airfield.

There’s been dodgy dealings in high places, and anticipating the catastrophic event, secret plans have been laid by major powers (Australia doesn’t warrant a mention) to save a selection of the population in a set of huge arks designed to survive our planet’s flooding. Noah never had it so good. US President Thomas Wilson (Danny Glover), his daughter Laura (Thandie Newton) and Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), a scientific advisor, are involved as the apocalypse unfolds.

Elsewhere Jackson and family race towards China to locate the hidden arks. Unfortunately the list of permitted passengers is limited by genes and large amounts of money. Carl Anheuser (Oliver Platt) the President’s Chief of Staff has his own selfish plans for the mass evacuation when the President opts to stay behind. The gigantic tsunami is coming fast.

Writer/director Roland Emmerich - who must have kicked sandcastles when he was a child - gets stuck into the best demolition effects we have seen. The man behind Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow loves destroying the world in graphic detail. The plot however is as cracked as the tortured landscape, and the characters not developed in great depth. While you’ll come out complimenting the thrilling drives across disintegrating cities, I doubt you’ll shed a tear for the plight of any of the big name cast. The level of emotional involvement is superficial, but that doesn’t stop the adrenalin.

Noteworthy are Woody Herrelson (No Country for Old Men) for his suitably unhinged prophet, and Oliver Platt (Frost/Nixon) adding the required dash of menace, while Zatko Buric (Dirty Pretty Things) brings light relief as Yuri, the scheming Russian billionaire. Being an action thriller, its structure consists of brief dialogue scenes interspersed with mass destruction, but it’s no less a thrill ride for that. Ironic touches abound, such as the Sistine Chapel roof which cracks in exactly the anticipated manner; St. Peter’s Basilica collapsing in a heap of dust, and the giant statute of Christ in Rio De Janeiro crumbling before your eyes. There’s a message there.

The crazy drive in a limo across the disintegrating cityscape avoiding a fearful death every few seconds has seldom been equalled. Despite beggaring belief, many images are certainly memorable. 2012 reminded me for some reason of the original The Poseidon Adventure and naturally Independence Day but on a bigger canvas.

As an action thriller, you have to admit 2012 works, the opening teaser builds up the atmosphere and the pace never slackens. Despite the whopping length, I didn’t once check my watch. This is among the best examples of a disaster movie, with considerable ‘wow’ factor.

John Bale